Take - nay, drink - this photo of Natalie Portman in, and drink well, for she does not have a movie opening this weekend.
Rather than sell us their usual slate of big screen offerings this weekend, Hollywood has been busy instead attempting to sell us on the awesomeness of their televised prom this Sunday, aka the Academy Awards. And bless their little botoxed and coked-out hearts, for they obviously know not what they do; with a handful of exceptions, this is a pretty wretched Oscar year, even by the Academy's annually shitty standards. But don't take my word for it - Rodger Grossman certainly doesn't - if you're itching for something to see before Sunday's Hughpocalypse, you can wander on over to the Landmark Theater and Starz sites yourself for times and schedules of most of this year's Oscar-worthies.
Elsewhere, a large black man dressed as a woman is sent to prison for brandishing a weapon and proceeds to go on a rampage, terrorizing the other inmates, and two horny young men and cheerleaders and nude wackiness.
